The Takeaways from the “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” Series 

“Pragmatic Sales Psychology” short episode series, writing #26”

I’ve enjoyed putting this book by Amy Morin under a microscope and tying her self-help topics back to the sales profession and I hope you have as well. Here are the topics for the first five chapters and blog notes providing the main take-a-ways.

#1 Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Giving into self-pity is a dangerous lake to swim in. It is a characteristic that prospects pick up on and can paralyze your performance and, just as importantly, their confidence in you to be able to help them.
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world – Helen Keller   

#2 Don’t Give Away Your Power
Amy Morin – “There are few things in life you have to do, but often we convince ourselves we don’t have a choice. Simply reminding yourself that you have a choice in everything you do, think, and feel can be very freeing.” Here is a quote from Dale Carnegie that Amy Morin began this chapter with, ”When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.”

#3 Don’t Shy Away From Change
Not only should you be willing to change, you should realize that improvement requires it. Positive change leads to increased production, both personally and professionally. Positive energy breeds more positive energy. Positive energy breeds momentum and don’t we all know how important momentum and attitude are to being successful? Embrace it or watch those who do make great things happen around you. Don’t wonder why you’re not making great things happen if you don’t… change is essential to a full and vibrant life.
“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t… It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” – James Gordon 

#4 Don’t Focus on Things You Can’t Control 
When I was young, an old mentor of mine once said, “Try to remember, you can control nobody; the best you can do is influence them.” My bet is that if he had ever been evaluated, he would have been categorized as a bi-locus of control person. Give it all you’ve got and let the chips fall where they may. Do your personal very best, but realize that you don’t ever have complete control over the end results. This attitude and approach will allow you an exciting, productive, never boring and stable sales life.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou   

#5 Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
The reality is that your sales encounters and personal relationships will be healthier and more satisfying if you don’t drop your drawers too much to “people-please”. Exchanges full of real people being real with one another is the recipe to endeavor to cook with. So order up a good day, hold the worry please… well, maybe just a little tension on the side for good measure, but not too much, please and thank you.
“You don’t want to disappoint anybody, but you know, you lose your voice by trying to please everyone.” Diego Luna

These five are enough to review if you take a moment and really ponder them. Think about the application of each topic in your sales life. Consider your strengths and weaknesses and consider how it is that you approach these areas of mental strength. If you have experiences relative to any of them that you would like to share, please do. We’d all love to hear from you. 

A culture of healthy self-examination is the most fertile type of a culture in which to grow, both individually and as a sales staff. Above all, try to remind yourself that what you do, if you do it well as a sales professional, is help consumers make good decisions for themselves that in turn allows you to make a good living. Mental strength in a word is about “context.” Keeping the highs and lows in context is how you achieve your best performance level and get the most enjoyment out of the honorable profession of selling. I went online to find a good quote about context as it relates to sales and day to day life. I found a lot of interesting thoughts but none directly on point, so I wrote one to end with “Context is that thing that allows us to apply a measure of sanity to the goings on spinning around us.”

Jack Klinefelter
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