Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Pragmatic Sales Psychology” short episode series, writing #17”

Being a people-pleaser is a personality type that many people gravitate towards. I know a lot of people without that proclivity (to people please) who steered away from a sales career because they didn’t want to sign up to be a professional ass-kisser. Both of these segments of people were wrong if they thought that selling meant going along with or saying anything just to make a deal. 

Here’s what a good sales pro looks like: helpful and fitting people with the right thing for them. It is more like being the world’s most friendly interrogator than “kissing butt no matter what.” Doesn’t it sound like a terribly exhausting job, to try and please everyone? Now, don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with pleasing a client and that is the end goal, yet, there is a line of integrity one should never cross, which would lead them into the “promising the moon just to get a sale” phase. 

The balance to be pursued is one where a sales pro gets efficient at telling the marketplace what you can and cannot do. This eliminates misunderstandings caused by ill-founded statements and promises. I would err on the side of diplomatically explaining how you can, and are willing to help someone achieve whatever they are wanting, but never enter the realm of telling people what they want to hear regardless of reality. 

Excessive worrying about what people think means some disturbing things. It means you would be willing to sacrifice your values to please someone. It means you are willing to fudge on the truth if need be. Severe people pleasing can mean you think you need to be a doormat, to be spineless. Taking advice from a chameleon is not what most buyers want.  

The best position to operate from is one of sincerity and guiding someone in the best direction for them regardless of their preconceived notions. Positioning yourself as a caring expert with informed and experienced opinions is a much better way to serve customers. The cold hard truth is that most purchasers, if they have any instincts at all, can sense when someone is willing to be insincere and a people pleaser just to write up a deal or get a sale. 

You will be less stressed and healthier if you avoid worrying about pleasing everyone. The dimension of sales that is a numbers game says that different characteristics and personality types gravitate towards those they feel they can trust the most. Worrying too much about pleasing people abandons good character and sells out unnecessarily for the desired result. This does not create a magnet toward you, but a force field that keeps people from that place of confidence and trust and from getting closer to you.

The reality is that your sales encounters and personal relationships will be healthier and more satisfying if you don’t drop your drawers too much to people please. Exchanges full of real people being real with one another is the recipe to endeavor to cook with. So order up a good day, hold the worry please… well, maybe just a little tension on the side for good measure, but not too much, please and thank you.  

“You don’t want to disappoint anybody, but you know, you lose your voice by trying to please everyone.” – Diego Luna


Jack Klinefelter

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